“I Wish I Was Better”: Why We’re Hooked on Comparing Ourselves to Others — and How To Stop
The pernicious power of social comparison, and the grounded way to free yourself from it
“Comparison kills creativity and joy.” — Brené Brown
What is this thing? This ennui we carry around with us? This fruitless comparison with others, which leaves us envious and jealous?
Think about it. Your home — happy with it? Want a slightly bigger one, like your colleague has? Want more stylish furniture? Want to redecorate?
How about the way you look? All good? No? Think you should maybe be thinner? Worried about your hair? (I am).
It has become a toxic modern ear-worm: ‘I wish I could be like him/her/them’. Psychologists term it social comparison theory, and if we’re not careful, it has the power to make us feel deeply unhappy.
We know rationally that more isn’t necessarily better. We know this partly because it’s the message of every Pixar movie ever made (quite rightly), but also because macro-economists have long been telling us that the average satisfaction levels of a population does not increase as a country grows wealthier (it’s called the Easterlin Paradox).
